• Kia

Why is love so fucking blind?

We all know the feeling when a relationship comes to an end and seemingly everyone already knew and openly warned us that this was going to happen, but we were the lasts to realize it, as if a secret force was making us believe in a crippled fairytale and only now, late, learned that everyone was right, and we had just been shamelessly blinded by what we believed was something called love.


What happens to us when “love” hits, and omg, why don’t we learn from our “mistakes”? Is it the brain that shuts down, or is it our simple (un)ability to analyze that leaves us stranded in a utopian daydream of a romantic idealization of something that starts in a pale pink and fluffy cloud of endless respect and admiration and wordless understanding, and slowly and consistently turns into a pitch sick-black nightmare of failed expectations and disappointments and constant and very annoying misunderstandings… but wait, if it is already black why do we keep up with it? Ohh yes, of course, in between the pink-blackish rollercoaster is a nerve-racking never-ending loop of good phases and bad phases. Yes, the good and the bad, of course… Sometimes I feel we keep up with things for such a long time because we have the illusion that a “good and worthwhile” relationship should only have good phases, but then we remember that that doesn’t exist, never, and so when the bad phases come we accept them and endure them, what else can we do, and also because, and we all know that after a bad phase always comes a good phase… and in-midst all this emotionally draining chaos, deep down, we just want to love blindly and be blindly loved during an astronomically high good phase, so we wait for them, we live for them - the good phases.


It is in the memory of those good moments that we stand the test and go through the bad ones. Right? But at what cost? Are the bad phases necessary for the development of the relationship? Is the initial idealization of our loved ones so strong that it surpasses all the negative traits that our targets have, and we all in fact have…? But now I ask Mother Nature openly and directly, is it really necessary that we do not (I swear I didn’t) hear our pumpkin-poochie-moochie snore like a grizzly bear in the first few months of blind (and obviously deaf) romance, and then, just 15 months and 3 ugly and irreparably respect-losing fights later you are seriously considering sleeping in another room because you cannot even stand the sound of your partners breathing? Is it really effective to mislead us into believing that our worshiped one is the most interesting and remarkable person in the world - god-like almost - and then, just like that, that same person starts losing shine and turns out to be a normal human, almost boring and with the most irritating habits?


I mean, honestly, why do you do that? Is it to make sure the species strive, no matter what? Or is it to show us how easily deceivable and utterly superficial we actually are? Couldn’t you have solved this in a less stressful way, you could’ve simply made us monogamous, like swans or wolves or seagulls…or you could’ve made us go through a thorough & hardcore selection process before we’d irrationally fall for, and then hurt and disappoint each other… wouldn’t that have been an option to consider?




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